Kathy Thomas Write On Business, Write On Wisdom

Too Many Bosses? Three Questions to Ask Yourself

“I feel like running away!” my neighbor exclaimed when I caught up with her after work one day. She added in exasperation, “I can’t do it all.”

Do you feel like hiding from the expectations weighing on you? Maybe your boss has just asked you to work overtime. Now you must arrange pick up for the kids and cancel a social event this evening. Meanwhile, an urgent request sits unanswered in your inbox, and a voicemail from a needy friend pops up in your notifications. Where do you draw the line?

Your packed calendar signals there’s no relief in sight.

Do you serve too many bosses? Asking yourself these questions might help you find peace.

1. Principals—Who’s the Boss? 

Whether you serve one principal boss or answer to an entire chain of command, it’s impossible to satisfy everyone and worse if they contradict one another. Adding to their demands are the loud expectations of our culture. We subconsciously serve the most demanding voices, so we stifle our deep desires and do our duty.

I recently noticed that at every request for my time, I felt angry. I acted grumpy even toward the grandkids. Upon analysis, I discovered the expectations prevented me from spending time on a personal writing project. Are you frustrated? Maybe something has blocked your heart’s desire. 

Consider the obligations begging your attention. Evaluate which voices need to be heeded. Then commit to what is important to you. This necessitates prioritizing your values.

2. Priorities—Where to Focus?

Consider the obligations begging your attention. Evaluate which voices need a response. Determine which commitments align with your values, and then commit to doing what is important to you. 

Do you find time to satisfy the desires of your heart? Look at your time use. Does it reflect your priorities? It may not be a time problem but a priority problem. 

If you feel overworked, you might ask your boss to prioritize your projects. Follow their directive and in that way, the responsibility falls back on them.

When making a major time commitment, I find it helpful to ask myself, “What roles do I serve that no one else can?” A wife to my husband. A mother to my children. Primary earner. Reorder your priorities to reflect your most important roles and spend quality time on those.

If you could reorder your priorities, what would be your ideal? What would bring you the most peace?

3. Peace—What is Your Why?

You may have a ready answer for why you do what you do—“I work because I need the money.” “I work overtime because if I didn’t, I’d lose my job.” “I work to provide my children the best educational opportunities.” “I serve my church because no one else is stepping up.”

Someone showed me how to drill down to find my “why.” For each expectation that demands your attention, continue to ask why. For example: “I work because I need the money.” Why? “Because my husband’s income isn’t enough.” Why? “Truth is, we’re in debt.” Why? “We need to handle our money more wisely.” 

In this case, the solution might be handling money better, not earning additional income. Alternatively, you might say, “I work because I enjoy it.” Ask why to discover new things about your desires. Then determine how to satisfy those deeper needs rather than reacting to outside demands.

Make God your boss

Serve One Boss

Make God your boss. It takes resolve and determination to follow Jesus. Your circumstances may or may not dramatically change, and your work boss will likely still ask you to work overtime, but you will be better prepared to give an answer true to your heart.

Kathy Thomas Write On Legacy

Are your pictures worth a thousand words?

The expression “a picture is worth a thousand words” means if the picture tells the story, there is no need for words. While for some pictures this is true, I propose sometimes a photo warrants a thousand words. How about your family photos? Do you date them, identify the people in them, or describe the event that inspired it? How do you ensure those precious memories will endure?

As a young girl, I remember that every time I visited my grandmother’s house, I would pore over the basketful of family photos. I loved looking at those old pictures of my dad, uncles, and cousins. I learned the stories behind them from my grandma. Years ago, we retrieved a very old photo album from my husband’s family. It contained numerous old, black and white pictures of ancestors long passed. The problem; not one person was identified! It might as well have been a book of strangers. It was meaningless to us. This raises the question: How will future generations view your photos?

What are you doing with your priceless pictures? Are they residing on your phone? Have you downloaded them to your computer, or uploaded them to the cloud? If so, are they searchable? Maybe you’ve even printed them in a photobook. Great! If not, how will those irreplaceable family memories be preserved?

I intend for our grandchildren to know their ancestors and their stories, so my husband and I have committed to producing a family legacy book, complete with genealogies, photos, and family heritage stories. It’s our way of leaving a legacy of faith for the next generation. What records of your life stories and photos will you leave behind? I encourage you to make these pictures and the precious memories associated with them available to your loved ones. 

Your pictures represent stories that need telling—a written narrative that will last for generations to come. If you don’t have time to produce a photo book, consider writing a letter. I recently presented a workshop entitled, Family Snapshot Letter, with The Whole Story Source team. The idea was for people to select a photo and write a heartfelt letter to a person in the photo or to someone about the photo. It turned out to be an emotionally powerful event. Since then, I’ve committed to writing an accompanying letter with every special occasion card I send. You can create your own family tradition by writing legacy letters to your loved ones. These can be cherished now and discovered later by future generations!

Kathy Thomas Write On Legacy

Have you got mail?

This blog post was originally published to The Whole Story Source—Legacy Letters on May 30, 2019.

Do you like to receive mail? I do. Recently, I opened the mailbox to find what looked like a handwritten card. Unfortunately, the machine generated note invited me to learn more about prearranging my cremation! Most of us still get letters once a year at Christmastime—what are often referred to as brag letters. Before modern technology and social media, news and information from friends and family were often sent as a letter. Years later, these letters become precious keepsakes. Unfortunately, handwritten letters have nearly become obsolete.

These days, if I want to know what’s happening with my family, I have to go to their social media page. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s impersonal. And because I never developed the habit of regularly checking the site, I find it a bit frustrating when the rest of the world knows what’s happening with my kids before I do!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-technology. When text messaging became popular, I surprised my kids with how hip I was. My daughter exclaimed to her friends, “I got a text message from my mom.” It was either a pleasant surprise or a horrified response to an invasion of her privacy! Advancements in technology allow us to communicate at lightning speeds with people near and far.

Recently, my son said, “Mom, some girl in Ethiopia is trying to contact you via Facebook messaging, she says you’re her godmother.” My mind raced back to our time serving there. Yes, I was godmother to the daughter of some dear Ethiopian friends. That was nineteen years ago and Ebbisee would now be 17 years old. Her father died shortly after we left, and her mother managed to raise three kids in difficult economic circumstances. We had a great online reunion, but I really owe Ebbisee a tangible letter telling her how I remember her family and the qualities I admired about her father.

Letters can be read over and over again, savored when you sit down, or discovered again at a later date.

I like the convenience of sending a text without having to bother someone with a phone call. Or shooting a quick message to my kids. But rarely do I sign, Love Mom, anymore. At least I could do that with an email. Instead it’s all kissy face and heart icons. I may post a picture of a special family event on social media, but we need to realize that our heartfelt messages will end up buried at the bottom of numerous other posts, never to be retrieved again. Our heartfelt thoughts and precious memories need to be communicated in a more permanent form.

I’m suggesting it’s time to revive the lost art of letter writing. People tend to save letters. They can be read over and over, savored when you sit down with a cup of coffee, or discovered again at some later date. The next time you send a text, post, or email consider sending it in the form of a letter. Your recipient will be delighted!

Be sure to check out the letter-writing event on the News and Events page.

Kathy Thomas Write On Writing

Block Buster #2: Three tips for finding time to write

What should you take time to do?

Is finding time to write your biggest obstacle to writing regular blogs, finishing that novel, or getting started on the title you have in mind? Have you announced you are going to write a book and are now embarrassed by your lack of progress? Here are some tips to try.

It happens to everybody
OK, I’m embarrassed too. Interesting that I should be writing on this topic when it’s been weeks since I wrote my last blog! First of all I’d say to both of us, “Get over it.” Let’s not allow our past performance to paralyze our future. Let’s make progress.

FCWC

I could use the excuse that I was improving my craft. Since writing Writer’s Block Buster #1 post, I attended the Florida Christian Writers Conference. It was great and I met a lot of wonderful people who were generous in sharing their knowledge. If you get a chance, you should attend a writer’s conference near you or not near you! It will fire up your creative juices or just give you a kick in the pants, which is what I need from time to time. After forgiving yourself for not writing, take a look at your schedule to see if it reflects your priorities.

Tip #1. Schedule according to priorities

What your schedule tells about your priorities
Consider your activities of the past week. Did you find time to write? If not, discover what consumes your time. For the next week, keep a log of how you spend your time. Note what activities took priority. Maybe these are more important than writing right now. Or maybe you might discover you are not doing what you want to do at all. You are in reactionary mode.

Fire in bones

What your emotions tell about your priorities
If your story is like a fire shut up in your bones and finding time to write seems impossible, you may notice you are a little grumpier than normal. If requests for your time leave you feeling resentful or even a little angry, it may be an unconscious reaction to your goals being blocked. Examine your heart and determine what you are longing to do. Then make it a priority on your schedule and guard it from interruptions. Be intentional.

Tip #2. Schedule writing zones

How do you find time in a busy schedule?
I’ll say it again, it’s about priorities—making time to do the things you love. It’s interesting all the ways we describe time as if we really had control of it: spend time, waste time, save time, take time. We can’t really make more time, but we can plan what to do with it.

Mark your calendar
Go back to your schedule. Take a typical week or month and block out three different time zones—maybe use colored highlighters. First, cross out all the regularly scheduled activities that you can’t change like your time at work, church, or regularly-scheduled meetings—indicate these as your “no” zones. Next, highlight activities that you have control over. Some of these you can choose not to do or do at another time of the day or month. Label these as your “maybe” zones and use them for writing every chance you get. Finally, look at what is discretionary time—your unplanned time—this is your “go” zones. Put these on your calendar as writing appointments with yourself that you cannot break.

Tip #3. Write at your optimal time

If you have the luxury, arrange your schedule so that you write when you are most creative. If you are a morning person, get up earlier or see if you can adjust your schedule such as moving your gym time to after work. If you are a night owl who comes to life after 8:00 pm, resist the urge to turn on the TV, surf the internet, or check Facebook. I suggest you use your less creative times for editing and rewriting. I think you get the idea.

Your turn
Please use the comments section to share what works best for you!
Write on!

Kathy

Kathy Thomas Write On Writing

Writer’s Block Buster #1

What should you take time to do?

My last blog addressed the importance of establishing momentum to keep your writing flowing. Momentum isn’t something that can be conjured up. It comes from diligently practicing good writing habits. This is the first in a series of writer’s-block buster habits designed to get you unstuck, on track, and in the flow!

Writer’s Block Buster #1. Know your reason for writing

No doubt, you have heard people say it’s important to know your “why” for writing. Likely they mean determining whether you are writing for personal expression or writing for market trends. In this Writer’s Block Buster, I’m suggesting that our “why” goes deeper than we think. I’m talking about searching your heart to understand what inspires you to write, because knowing this will likely keep you motivated to write.

Know what inspires you to write
Recently, I was introduced to the book, Find Your Why: A practical guide for discovering purpose for you and your team, by Simon Sinek with David Mead and Peter Docker (New York, NY: Penguin Random House, LLC, 2017). While this book isn’t about writing, I think completing the seemingly simple exercise of writing your WHY STATEMENT may help you explore your purpose, and as a result, your motivations. It goes like this: TO________________SO THAT_____________. In the first blank, write your contribution to the lives of others and in the second blank, write the impact that contribution makes. Try it—it’s harder than you think! Maybe you will start with multiple statements until you see a repeating theme that will help you hone it to a single one.

Face it, it’s unlikely we will write a bestseller that will make enough money to support us for the rest of our lives. So why write? Maybe you write because you take pleasure in it or hope that in the reading of it, someone’s life might be a least briefly changed for the better. Try to articulate your motivation by writing a WHY STATEMENT for your reader. Maybe something like this: Because of your message, what do you want your reader to do that contributes in a positive way to their own life or someone else’s? By the way, it doesn’t have to be nonfiction or a self-help message to do that! Even fiction may transport someone to a place that, at least temporarily, delights or excites them.

Being convinced your reason for writing is important should be a big motivator! Also in considering your why, identify your target audience how you want to appeal to them: to uplift, educate, inform, or entertain. Maybe your reason is more personal: to express your thoughts or creativity, or leave a historical record for someone to discover in the future. Determine your writing is important and necessary and just write, write, write!

For whose glory do you write?
Sometimes we fantasize about our book being published and becoming a recognized author and sought-after speaker—to be known. Maybe even to be in the spotlight. There are many valid reasons for writing, but it is most satisfying for me is when the underlying motivation is for the glory of God.

I have noticed that as humans, we seek to answer three basic questions about ourselves: (1) Am I significant? (2) Does my life matter? and (3) Where do I belong? The Bible tells us that (1) we are significant to God and he loves as his very own child, (2) we have a purpose in life that is part of his plan, and that as people of faith, (3) we are part of God’s family and heirs to his kingdom. I find answering these questions from a biblical perspective is empowering.

Children of God

But sometimes our egos get in the way and we are tempted to want our names to be great rather than God’s. We seek to answer these questions in selfish ways. The answers might look like this: (1) our significance comes from popularity, power, or wealth, (2) our purpose is guided by self-recognition or perhaps greed, and (3) we belong to groups that are popular or powerful in order to give us identity. I suggest that when you find your true answers to these questions, you will find your why. I am always surprised that when I seek to first bring God glory, he shows up to inspire my writing!

Make it a habit!
Whatever your reason for writing, be absolutely convinced of your why and it’s impact. Make it a habit of continually reminding yourself of the importance of your writing. Then just do it and don’t be discouraged!

Write On!
Kathy