The Secret to Making Resolutions Last
Congratulations. If you’re keeping your New Year’s resolutions, you’ve passed Quitter’s Day—the second Friday after New Year’s—it’s a thing. If you’ve quit, don’t dismay. Only thirty-six percent of the population endure past January. But here’s the good news: Establishing new habits and routines can be fun.
While living among the Guji people of Ethiopia, we noticed if a person was laboring alone, someone would join in to help for a while. Soon, smiles and laughter broke out. I think they held a secret we’ve lost in our culture.
The Guji knew work was easier and more pleasurable when done together.
My mother-in-law used to say, “Many hands make light work.” If you’re trying to accomplish something on your own, you’ll tire quickly and join the rest of the population who give up their resolutions before January is over.
However, Americans have traditionally rewarded efficiency and valued working independently. Many of us now work remotely, and our help comes from Google. If we need information or want to learn something new, we search the Internet or create with ChatGPT. We read a self-help books or watch a YouTube videos rather than consulting a person. We seek advice only if we get stuck.
Human interaction creates synergy and benefits our mental health. When was the last time you laughed? Were you alone or with others? The saying, “Teamwork makes the dream work,” may be accurate, but in our hurry-up world, it seems faster to work alone.
But what do work ethic and human interaction have to do with sticking to New Year’s resolutions? The Bible says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17 NIV). Wisdom tells us combining our efforts is powerful. If you want to change a habit or develop a new one in 2025, I advocate finding a friend and doing it together. You’ll have more fun, hold one another accountable, and achieve better results.
In my last blog, I discussed the value of having an accountability partner. Biblical wisdom says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 NIV). A friend asked me three years ago to be her writing accountability partner. Since then, we’ve each published a book—a testimony to the truth of these verses.
Okay, I hear your objections. You may want to work with another person, but it seems too hard to find a common meeting time, or you worry you’re interrupting an already busy person.
Get creative. Consider times you’re already with someone, and make your time together intentional. Meet with a colleague or friend before work, at the gym, or over lunch. Walk with a neighbor in the morning or after work. Or, try a video call one evening a week after the kids are in bed. Meet with your accountability partner to discuss your goals, plans, and processes and then meet regularly to encourage and also challenge one another.
Kathy
P.S. Don’t forget to have fun and celebrate small milestones accomplished.
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The other day my grown daughter commented, “Mom, you are always writing for someone else, why don’t you write for your family?” She proceeded to remind me about some children’s books I had started years ago when she was growing up. Since then, her words keep ringing in my ears. It got me questioning, “Why am I writing?” How about you?
Why do you write? Who do you want to read your words? It’s not an easy answer. It takes some soul searching. I pondered, “Am I seeking recognition from others?” Or to feel good about myself because I made someone else feel good?” The truth is, there are far more people that will forget who I am than those who will remember me. But to my family, I’m pretty important. Especially to my young, impressionable grandchildren! I am blessed! You are important too!
In this busy world, we strive to make a name for ourselves, to make our lives matter. While you may not know it yet, your life already matters. It matters now and for generations that will come after you. Your children’s children, and their children may want to know what you were like. They will seek to glean what they can learn from your life, your struggles, your successes, your values, your faith. They will wonder what qualities or characteristics of yours are similar to theirs. Your life, good or bad, is a great teacher.
My husband has a journal from his great grandmother, Lucy, who lived from 1878 to 1960. It is entitled: “Seventy Years of Living.” It is profoundly interesting reading about what life was like, but not nearly as interesting as the lessons we learned from her life and the characteristics I see present in her great, great grandson! We learned of a young couple who were intent on building a farm and a lifestyle. They were entrepreneur types always expanding at great financial risk. Unfortunately, they borrowed rather than saved to have the things they thought they needed. They were particularly impressed with the latest and greatest inventions of the time—like a flush toilet for example! Dean’s great uncle, the oldest of the children, complained he’d have to run upstairs and refill it with water every time anyone flushed! Funny? Not so very much. They lost the farm. But they endured and that’s the real lesson.
